Every day on my way to or from work on the F, there are people asking for money. Sometimes it's the startling middle-aged white woman talking about her three children and her lay-off, the note of desperation in her voice when she says "Please! Have a heart!", somehow leaving me unable to look at her, let alone reach for my wallet. Sometimes they are charming three-piece mariachi bands, who clearly aren't living on the street but just need a little extra cash. But mostly it's really poor people, visibly homeless, tired, mentally ill, addicted, or just plain ill. They have various approaches. At Christmas time, one man sang a carol that really left me heartbroken. Others change carriages at every stop and give the same speech to the whole car. "Ladies and gentlemen. Please. If you can find it in your hearts to lend a helping hand to a homeless person in need."Sometimes, I give a dollar here or there. But usually I don't. Because I can't give every day, and I can't choose who is most worthy. They all are. And I know my dollar isn't going to change their lives anyway.
Today, there was a homeless man outside the subway station. He asked me for change, and I gave my usual lame smile and apology. A graying middle-aged man in a shabby suit approached the subway entrance at the same time, and muttered at the man "Get a job!" As he raced down the stairs next to me, he continued "Get a fucking job! Another lazy American!" This is what I wanted to say to him, but didn't. This is what I thought to myself all the way home, and then posted on some thread somewhere, where someone espoused the same simplistic viewpoint. (I found it when I googled "homeless get a job.")
Can you explain to me how a homeless person should go about getting a job? What kind of job? Where do they go? What if they have no work experience, no high school diploma? No home. No shower, no clothes to wear to an interview. No telephone or internet to do research. How are they supposed to begin? If you don’t know the answer, how do you expect someone living on the street to know?
This is not to say that they can’t change or don’t want to change, but these people need a helping hand to get there. It is not easy to change when your life has fallen apart. Many homeless people struggle with mental health problems and addictions. They need support to put their lives back together. Of course, it’s much easier to just put the blame on them, rather than feeling morally obliged to help people who haven’t had as much luck as you have.
Of course there are stories of people who have overcome amazing obstacles and managed to turn their lives around without help. But does that mean people who don’t feel strong enough, or don’t yet know that they are strong enough to do that, should be left behind? Everyone deserves a helping hand. Most homeless people don’t have the support of family and friends that the rest of us take for granted. How far would we have gotten without it?
I wanted to say this to that man. But he probably wouldn't have listened. And I didn't want to get involved in a conflict with some strange man in a subway station. There are a lot of crazy people in New York. But that's a whole 'nother post.
